How to Decode the Best Bedtime for You (and 4 Tips for Actually Sticking to That Time)

There are so many benefits of being an adult: You can eat what you want, wear what you want, and go to bed when you want without any nagging from your parents. The downside of all of this freedom is the reality that you have to figure stuff out on your own, including when to go to bed so that you’re not a total grouch at work the next day. If you’ve caught yourself on your fifth episode in a row of Only Murders in the Building at 1 AM wondering, “What time should I go to bed?” this one’s for you. 

Yes, having a set bedtime may feel very much like a little-kid thing. But adults can benefit from that consistency too, especially when it comes to your health and well-being. We talked to two top behavioral psychologists to figure out how much sleep you need, how to calculate an optimal bedtime, and how to actually stick with it. 

How Much Sleep Do I Need?

Generally, experts (including the National Institutes of Health and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine) say that adults should get seven to nine hours of sleep per night. However, some people might need more sleep and some might need less, says Haunani ‘Iao, PsyD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in behavioral medicine, including sleep issues. 

There are a few different factors that influence your sleep need (aka the amount of sleep you require to feel rested), says Sarah Silverman, PsyD, a behavioral sleep medicine specialist, including your age and medical history. Lifestyle factors, like your stress levels, amount of physical and social activity, diet, and blue light exposure can play a big role too, she says. Research shows that genetics also play a role, adds ‘Iao—some people are just wired to require more or less sleep than others.

The National Sleep Foundation recommends the following amounts of sleep by age (although again, note that there is normal variation between individuals): 

How to Tell If You’re Getting Enough Sleep

“You’re more than likely getting your average sleep need if you’re not actively dozing or napping during the daytime on a regular basis,” Silverman says. Conversely, if you’re always struggling to stay awake during the daytime, that’s a “telltale sign” you’re probably not getting enough sleep, she says. 

Still unsure? ‘Iao suggests first tracking how much sleep you’re getting per night for at least a month, either by keeping a log on paper or using an app. Add up those hours and divide them by 30 (or 31, if it’s a longer month) to get your average amount of Zzzs per night. Once you have that number, she says to ask yourself the following questions to determine if that amount of sleep per night is enough: 

“If you answer sometimes, rarely, or never [to these questions], you are likely getting the sleep you need,” ‘Iao says. If that’s not the case, you might benefit from adjusting your sleep times to get more rest. (And if that doesn’t help, it’s time to see a sleep specialist—you may have insomnia or another condition that requires expert support.)

What Time Should I Go to Bed?

“I always like to start with your wake-up time to determine your bedtime,” Silverman says. Basically, take the time you know you need to get up in the morning—whether that’s for work, exercise, or to get your kids ready for the day—and subtract the amount of hours you typically need for sleep, she says.  

“You can give yourself some tuck-in time and stretching-upon-waking time in bed,” ‘Iao suggests—like 30 minutes on each end as a buffer. For instance, you can factor your bedtime routine into your schedule to ensure you have enough wind-down time before actually sleeping.

So for example, say you need to get out of bed at 6:30 AM, and you tend to do best with seven hours of sleep per night. You also know that you like to wind down for about 30 minutes before bed to brush your teeth, meditate, and read. In that case, a good bedtime could be 11 PM, with “lights out” happening at 11:30 PM to ensure you’re allowing yourself seven full hours of sleep. 

Setting the right bedtime is pretty straightforward, but both experts have some suggestions to make it even more effective. For starters, try to be as consistent as possible with your wake-up time, ‘Iao says. “Having a consistent wake time improves your sleep rhythm and helps your sleep drive to be strong at bedtime, so that you can fall asleep quicker and stay asleep all the way through,” she says. In other words, that consistent wake-up time can help train you to be a better, more consistent sleeper. 

Don’t go to bed too early either, both experts say. Sitting around in bed when you’re not tired can trigger a “vicious cycle” of issues with falling or staying asleep, Dr. Silverman says. “If your bedtime rolls around and you are not sleepy, consider waiting [to get in bed] until you are sleepy or doing an activity that can relax your body and mind,” ‘Iao suggests, such as mindfulness meditation or stretching.

Where possible, consider your body’s natural rhythms and preferences when setting a bedtime. “For example, if you have a flexible schedule and you are at your best at night, set your bedtimes and wake time to match this circadian tendency,” ‘Iao says. For a night owl who thrives on eight hours of sleep, that might look like going to bed at 1 AM and waking up at 9 AM; a morning person might benefit from a 10 PM bedtime and 5 AM wake time to ensure a full seven hours of sleep, adjusting as necessary to allow space for a bedtime routine.

How to Adjust to a New Bedtime

Sometimes, the bedtime we crave and deserve isn’t the one that life hands us. If you have to change your sleep times due to work, scheduling obligations, or other reasons, here are some tips from the experts to help make nailing that new consistent sleep schedule a bit easier: 

1. Start the Change Slowly

“I typically suggest shifting your bedtime by very small increments across a week or two,” Silverman says. “For example, shift your bedtime by 10 minutes, and stay at this new bedtime for at least a couple of nights. Then shift another 10 minutes and stay there for another few nights, and so on and so forth until you reach your desired bedtime,” she explains. This allows your body to adjust, and gives you time to figure out if the new bedtime fits with your schedule and lifestyle, she adds.  

2. Give Yourself Some Buffer Time to Adjust 

As mentioned earlier, ‘Iao recommends giving yourself 30 minutes on either side of your sleep and wake-up times. This helps you wind down for the night (and then ease yourself into the day), making it hopefully easier to get to bed and then wake up. 

3. Get Support from Loved Ones

It can be hard to stick to a new sleep schedule when other things going on in your household can cramp your sleep ability (say, a night-owl spouse or kids who just don’t want to go to bed). “Have a conversation with your partner, family, kids, etc. and see if you can make some adjustments to your current schedule so that you can really start to prioritize your bedtime and overall sleep quality,” Silverman says. That might look like asking your spouse to handle the last dog walk of the day so you can wind down earlier, or asking your roommate to watch TV with headphones after a certain time to ensure their noise doesn’t disturb you.

4. Stick to Your Schedule as Best You Can

Sometimes life happens, and you sleep like garbage. That’s to be expected, but if you’re serious about sticking with a new bedtime, really try to be consistent. “Avoid getting in bed too much earlier than your bedtime, and avoid pushing the snooze [when you wake up],” ‘Iao says. 

Benefits of Having a Consistent Bedtime

There are all kinds of reasons why having a consistent bedtime is a great idea, both experts say. “Keeping a consistent bedtime and sleep schedule has been shown to help maintain sleep regularity,” Silverman says. (“Sleep regularity” is fancy science speak for going to bed and waking up at the same time.) “As we know from a large cohort study published earlier this year, [sleep regularity] is a stronger predictor of mortality risk than sleep duration,” she says. That study, published in the journal Sleep, found that people with higher sleep regularity had a 20–48 percent lower risk of all-cause mortality. (Which, dang.) 

Sticking with a consistent sleep schedule (both your bedtime and wake-up time) can strengthen and align the drives that rule sleep, ‘Iao says. These drives include your circadian rhythm (your body’s internal “clock” that governs sleep and wake patterns) and your homeostatic sleep drive (your body’s need to fall asleep, which increases the longer you’re awake). Having these two systems in sync will ensure “that you can fall asleep quicker and stay asleep throughout the night until your wake time,” she says.

A consistent bedtime also allows your mind and body to decompress and wind-down from the day, Silverman adds. “You can’t be going full speed all day, and then hop into bed and expect sleep to happen right away,” she says. “Your mind and body need time to ‘set the stage’ for sleep to happen, and keeping a regular bedtime helps facilitate this wind-down process.” 

The Takeaway

Adults typically need between seven to nine hours of sleep per night. Use that number to work backwards from when you need to wake up to figure out the optimal bedtime for you—adding in time for your bedtime and morning routines as needed or desired. And above all, be consistent with your bedtime in order to gain the most benefit for your health and well-being. If none of this is working for you, it’s time to see a sleep doctor. “It is important to state that anyone with sleep difficulties or insomnia seek individualized care from a trained behavioral medicine specialist,” ‘Iao says.